Everything Is Intertwined
June has come to an end. The school year is over. A lot of things have come to an end, and honestly, I am relieved we made it. This school year was quite difficult, as I managed my kid’s never-ending school and sports activities, while still trying to build my brand.
I learned that right now, my kids really need me more than I need to build a brand.
As much as I love going to vendor events, promoting my books, and connecting with others, I know my kids need me more.
For the first time, I’m okay with that. I worried, more like feared, I’d only ever be a mom and wouldn’t have anything for me. I guess that because I had put my dreams on hold for so long, I felt like I had to do it all; I needed to make up for lost time.
The reality is I can still write, attend one event every quarter, build a social media presence, promote my story, and empower other women while being a mom. The lesson is I don’t have to do everything all at once. I used to imagine working my brand full-time. But now it’s not even part-time.
I found a way to balance their activities while doing a bit here and there for TER. I’ve written chapters for my novel in the car before my daughter’s softball tournaments; I’ve written poetry in the school drop-off line. I’ve performed poetry live and online. Others are promoting my books and workshops.
It’s not them or me, or their stuff or mine. It’s all happening at the same time. Everything is intertwined. I’m a mom, an author, an educator, and a speaker all in one. I don’t have to compartmentalize or switch between each identity. I am all of those and more.
Right now, there isn’t any pressure for anything, no deadline or expectation. I told my daughter the other day that I want less “have to” and “must,” but more freedom and flexibility.
Sure, the kids have their sporting events. My daughter is still playing for a travel softball league and a recreational league. My youngest son’s summer soccer league will start soon, but right now, those are the only places I am expected to be (well, besides my full-time job).
If I am being honest, I really like this feeling. When I look at my color-coded calendar, there is nothing on there for me in July. I don’t have places to be or tasks to complete. This is very different from how I’ve lived the past year and a half.
I feel like I can breathe.
My July is about being with my kids, enjoying the summer, and living in the moment.
The other day, I wrote a poem called “Waiting.” The last stanza of the poem states,
“I’ve never been a patient person
Yet here I am present in real time
Accepting what’s meant to be”
This is me, 100% in real time, finally not worrying about the future or overanalyzing the past, but enjoying each day in its element.
June may have been a busy month as I wrote chapters for a novel, organized poetry for my next poetry collection, and raised three children while working full-time. I felt overwhelmed, begging for a break, a moment of peace. I finally don't feel ashamed to take a small step back. I don't have to be on all the time.
So, here to July! It will fly fast just as the months before, but this time I’ll be embracing every day, while being authentically and unapologetically myself.
